This post is going to be a bit strange. Rather than talking about my emotions, goals, or life events like I usually do, I thought that today I could talk a bit about a dream I had. I mean, I know that dream analysis isn’t really a thing, (Sorry to break it to you, Freud), but I also feel like my dreams sometimes leave me with thought provoking questions to answer during awake times, or with emotions that resonate through my awake time experiences. This is what happened with the last dream that I had, so I thought that I would share.This morning started out like any other, my cat jumped onto the bed and circled me a few times. She then stuck her face next to mine, as if to smell my nose, before gently licking some random area of exposed skin to wake me up. As is usually the case, I checked the time to find it was still over an hour until I needed to feed her. So, I promptly returned to bed, trying to rest off the last bit of tiredness I was experiencing (it so didn’t work). This is the dream that I had during that time, or, at least, what I can remember of it:
My mother and father had just moved into a new house together. The house was on this beautiful lot, built into the side of a hill. There was a lot of trees, a fair amount of green space, and what looked like the makings of a garden patch. In the front of the house, there was a door that would lead you to the main floor. But, in the back, there were glass double doors that led directly from the basement into the back garden.
In the basement, there was a full kitchen, a large bathroom, and a dining area. Everything looked very well put together and the house appeared clean, presentable, and polished. The kitchen featured tiled counter tops and a big stainless sink, the bathroom had a glass enclosed shower, and the dining area had a glass table, much like a patio table my family had while I was growing up. Looking out the back doors, you could see to the quiet street between the houses and to the bottom of another hill across the way. Overall, the house was beautiful and the lot was even more so.
Yet, not everything was as it appeared. Throughout the dream, little things kept going wrong. It was never anything creepy or scary, but every now and then something would just break. It started with the kitchen sink, which, for some reason, had one of its taps on backwards. Though I figured that out while I was attempting to use the thing, I didn’t really consider it to be a big deal or anything to worry about. However, when the spout fell off after I had just finished filling the sink to its brim, my mind changed. To make matters worse, with the spout falling off, the sink decided to start a new flow of water. Even though I had made sure that both the taps were off, water just kept pouring into the sink, and eventually I just had to pull the plug at the bottom in hopes that it wouldn’t overflow.
So, now with the sink out of commission, I turned my attention to the shower. After attempting to turn it on a couple of different ways, it was clear that the shower was having none of it. So, I gave up on it and just figured that I could use the hose in the garden, but before I left the house to do that, my father stopped me. Sitting at the table in the dining area smoking a cigarette, my father called me over to sit beside him. Once I had done so we started into a conversation, or at least it felt like we did. Though I can’t remember anything that was said between us, he asked me to pass him something from my side of the table. As pushed a wire stand closer to my father, I noticed that one of its legs was catching on something. Figuring it was the hole in the center of the table (the hole for an outdoor parasol), I took a closer look. It wasn’t that, however. Instead, the table had somehow been cracked and a different hole, one of a strange jagged shape, had caught the leg of the wire stand.
It was at this point that I woke up. While I don’t know whether it was this final absurdity that pushed me back to consciousness or whether it was actually my cat deciding it was time for kisses again, I was left thinking about the weirdness of this dream and its premise in reality. For the most part, the dream was absurd enough that it could be just dismissed. However, one main part of it stuck out as something that I should think more on, and that was the idea of my parents living together again.
You see, my parents separated years ago due to my father’s card-carrying membership in the abusive asshat club. While they still live only blocks from each other, the separation has been good for them. But recently, my mother’s health has started to falter again. Her diabetes has largely taken out her kidneys, and now she is stuck pushing through near constant dialysis. As anybody who has had a family member go through this process knows, dialysis steals a lot of time and even more energy. Considering that my mother already runs low on both, mostly due to her physical disabilities, this process has hit my mother really hard.
Thankfully however, my father has been there for her. He usually is when she gets sick, but this time, she might not be getting better anytime soon. In fact, it is possible that she may never get better at all. With her health failing and her time and energy being stolen away, I can see the benefits to my mother having my father around to help her around the house. However, I also know what my parents are like and just how unhealthy their relationship has been. Seeing both sides of this, I don’t know how I would feel if my parents decided to move in together again, and I don’t know how I would handle it. However, considering the situation as it presents itself, I guess I should give more time to figuring that out.